People often ask for help in how they choose vulnerability. It seems to hard & difficult. But the thing is, no one ever said that choosing to be vulnerable was an easy task. Quite frankly, it’s the opposite of easy. It’s so freakin’ hard. But it doesn’t have to be.
I was never the type to just “be vulnerable” with people. Like many, I had walls up, and I consistently pushed people away. I was hiding parts of myself to everyone — friends, family, classmates, teachers, strangers and so forth. It wasn’t normal to be to just “be myself,” and you know what? Doesn’t that sound scarier than just being who you truly are?
Consistently having a front can get tiring to maintain. Having a specific way to act around certain people and never being authentically you is a little sad, if you ask me. Sure, there is a fear that people will not like you for who you are. And that’s a fact of life. But learning to be accepting of that, to acknowledge that you can’t please everyone, will be so empowering on your part once you hone in on that idea.
So how do you choose vulnerability when it frightens you? Makes you feel reluctant to be in that position? Brings about emotions that are uncomfortable to face, when it feels so much easier to just push it to the side and ignore it all?
It’s hard. I know. But trust me when I say that choosing vulnerability is a strong decision on your part, not a weak one whatsoever.
If you live in fear all the time, you will never move forward. If you are reluctant to take risks, then opportunities will slide by you day by day. If you stay in a position that is comfortable and never seek to be in an uncomfortable situation or feeling, you remain stagnant in your growth.
But if you do the opposite, if you choose vulnerability… you allow:
- yourself to be authentic
- others a chance to support & love you beyond a surface level
- the practice and benefits of self awareness
- genuine connections with the world and others to unfold
- the universe to work its magic in favor of helping you
That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?
But how exactly do you choose this? Well, there are ways that you can slowly introduce vulnerability into your life, so that it feels more normal to do so. Here are 5 tips to help you choose vulnerability:
- Practice relinquishing control of the outcomes.
- Life is full of uncertainty, and you’ll become more anxious if you think too much about what you cannot control. If you make a conscious effort to let go of control, you will be able to lighten a load off your shoulders. You’ll begin to feel more calm and open to any possible outcome.
- Ask yourself what you’re afraid of.
- You heard me. Ask yourself what is making you so darn afraid to open up, to let go of control, to be vulnerable… Write it down. Reflect. Take time to understand what it is that stops you from opening up to others. From there, you can get a better idea if it’s a problem that therapy is best for, or if you can seek out the help of friends, family, a mentor, or even a coach (ahem, #shamelessplug).
- Believe you are worthy enough to be heard.
- This is something crucial for the process of choosing vulnerability. It can be difficult to fully embody what being vulnerable is if you don’t have the internal belief system that says “I am worthy of being heard. My opinion and thoughts matter.” Once you believe, you’ll begin allowing love and support to flow in endlessly before you know it.
- Take small steps.
- Becoming a vulnerable person is not an overnight process. Nothing really is overnight. Not even pimple popping (oh how I wish it was… back in the days of being a self-conscious middle and high schooler). So rather than assuming you have to open up immediately to everyone, talk to one person you trust at first. When it feels bearable, consider reaching out to another person, and so on.
- Visualize & anchor onto positive outcomes that can come from genuine connection with others, as well as authentic representation of who you are.
- Like I said earlier, if you choose vulnerability, you’re choosing to show up as your authentic self. You don’t need to hide from people, because wow, that gets tiring. If you can think of positive outcomes that can come from being your true self, then hold onto those thoughts. I repeat, hold onto them. They will lift you up and empower you. Once you take those thoughts, you’ll be able to form the emotions you want to feel and recognize that you have the power to make vulnerability your reality.
Choosing vulnerability will take practice. Even those who seem to have it together will struggle at times, because being vulnerable isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s taken me years to be vulnerable with my friends and family, but what I’ve learned from the experience has been so beneficial to my personal growth. Once implemented in your life, you will begin to shine and the world will be blessed with your gifts, aura, and spirit. Now doesn’t that sound lovely? I hope I’ve made vulnerability a little less scary, but remember, you don’t need to change overnight. Like I said, this is a process and you are allowed to take your time. xx