AuthenticitySelf Love

Nurture Self Love with These 10 Daily Practices

girl showing self love

Look, everyone and their mamas are preaching about self love and #selfcare, but are people really defining what that looks like in practice? I’m here to give you practical tips & exercises that you can start incorporating in your daily life to nurture that self love muscle of yours.

But first, let’s differentiate self love & self care from each other. 

What is self care?

Essentially, practices that are labeled as “self care” in our modern day society are actually mislabeled and should be called “self soothing.” This graphic gives a perfect example of what typical “self care” activities are suggested to people all the time (and again, how it’s actually soothing ourselves).

Check out the original artist post here.

And there’s nothing wrong with self soothing activities. I like myself a good massage, aromatherapy, painting my nails, and doing skin care. There shouldn’t be shame that comes with people who value self soothing, but there does need to be clarification and distinction that this is not “self care.” Especially with the self care industry exploiting peoples’ bank accounts telling them they “need” to spend money or else they aren’t caring for themselves? I think there’s a better way to go about describing the entirety of what self care actually is. 

Self care is literally the act of caring for yourself holistically — meaning mind, body, and soul. 

Now what does that look like? 

It can look like a variety of things that feel good & true to you. 

Some of the general things that are people’s go-tos are… 

Mind: journaling, meditation, conscious breathing, walks in nature

Body: Exercise, nourishing yourself with proper meals, hydrating

Soul: Laughing, praying, spending time with people you love

Okay okay, so after reading that list of ideas for self care, what makes it different from nurturing self love?

Self care is a form of meaningful and immediate impact. Self love is geared more toward long term impact, where the results are not usually visible to you but others will be able to see the difference and point it out. Both are good for preventative measures in terms of burn out, but nurturing self love practices will embed within your subconscious mind how valuable and worthy you are.

The way I see it, self love and self care are both important, working hand in hand, but I feel cultivating practices to strengthen and nurture our self love muscle is key to living a happy & fulfilling life. 

However, it’s not easy for all of us… and people often struggle finding ways to incorporate actionable, different, yet reasonable methods in our everyday life. Hence, my reason for writing this blog post for you. (I listened to my readers, and I got chu).

So without further ado, let’s talk about ten daily practices you can do to nurture that self love within yourself.

  1. Rewrite your negative self beliefs. 
    • Our thoughts are extremely powerful, and it can be easy to get caught in our own negative self talk. But once you notice the little things you say & believe, the easier it will be to challenge those thoughts. The first step is awareness of the problem. Let me give an example. 
    • “I’m terrible at technology. I wasn’t cut out to learn anything techy because I’m not programmed to understand it” -> “Right now, I’m struggling with technology but I can learn. There is an equal playing field if I put my mind to it, because these barriers will not stop me from being resilient. I will not back down.”
    • “I’m destined to be alone forever. No one wants to commit to be with me.” -> “I haven’t found the right person, and I am hurt about that. But it doesn’t mean that I’m destined to be alone. It just means the right person is coming. My desires for commitment are valid & I will attract the right person without even noticing it.”  
    • See what I’m doing here? I encourage you to catch yourself when you’re saying something negative (about yourself, about your life, about others) and reframe it to boost your mood & wire that into your self love subconscious thinking. 
  2. Embrace your emotions (it’s the step needed before learning how to manage them).
    • This is literally what I preach on my platform. Embrace the emotions that people have told you all your life to withhold to “stay strong.” I call BS on that because honestly, letting your emotions out and allowing yourself to feel and be human, now that’s strength. For those of your who are introverted, highly sensitive, and in tune with your emotions, here’s the permission slip you didn’t need to just be YOU. 
    • Try your best to stop labeling emotions as “positive” or “negative.” — Instead, take that emotion and ask yourself, “What is this emotion trying to tell me? Why is my mood being affected?” And that will help you manage and understand your emotions better, to realize that these emotions act as a guide for your decision making.
    • Try out mirror work. Look at yourself in the mirror, and say something to yourself that you don’t typically say out loud but want to believe. For example, “I love and accept you just the way you are TODAY in this present moment.” Practice saying it in the mirror, looking yourself straight in the eyes, multiple times a day everyday. You speaking it into existence will ingrain it in your subconscious mind, similar to how rewriting negative beliefs work.
  3. Journal.
    • I don’t think there will ever be a time where I don’t mention journaling. But seriously, incorporate this in your daily life or as often as you can! Journaling is a way to discover a lot of different things in your subconscious mind that you may not even be aware of. And there are also self love journal prompts that you can write about everyday. 
    • If you’d like me to write up some prompts for you, let me know on instagram or contact me! 
    • In the meantime, here are some prompts that I really enjoy. 
  4. Meditate in a way that works for you. 
    • Meditating is great for nurturing self love because it improves our mindfulness and self awareness. When we are able to be present and aware of what’s going on in our lives, mind, and body, we are better equipped with a foundation to make decisions aligned to love. 
    • Now, when I say choose a way that “works for you,” what I mean is to not limit yourself to meditation apps (guided or unguided). Although I’m an advocate for meditation apps, I believe there are other ways you can meditate and be mindful. Things like going on a run, cooking, cleaning, etc. There is no correct way, but do your best to just focus on your breathing. That’s mainly it. When you stop focusing on everything else in the world that’s battling it out for your attention, you’ll start to realize what really matters to you. 
  5. Know what is and isn’t in your control (and focus on practical ways you can control what’s possible in your life). 
    • I like this daily practice because it encourages you to not live life on autopilot and accept everything  that happens. It encourages you to take a deep look at what is and isn’t in your control. 
    • I want us to focus on what you can control. A good example I want to reference is my finances. I work on improving my financial literacy almost everyday and schedule out time to check my budget, bank accounts, credit score, and all the nitty gritty purchases I have planned for the month. I don’t want to live my life where I look at my bank account and am unsure if I can splurge on a coffee for the day or a gift for my friends, because I’ve already told myself that I love and respect the money I make, and I dedicate time to focus on my finances since it’s in my control. Can you think of something that you control and can start creating a routine of? Or does that already exist? 
  6. Make a chart with two columns. Write down everything you love & hate about yourself. Explain why all of these things make you who you are and what that says about you today, in this present moment. 
    • I think this is a little self explanatory, but at the same time, some people may be wondering… “Eril, why are you telling me to write down the things I hate about myself? That’s not going to go well.” Well… if you listened to my first point, one of the daily practices I want you to start is rewriting all your negative beliefs. Just because you hate something about yourself, it doesn’t mean you’re destined to hate it forever. Some of these things make you, you. And if it’s a personality trait that does more harm than good, it’s a signifier for where you need to seek additional help for healing those wounds. 
  7. Go to your favorite spot in nature (woods, ocean, park, etc) and sit there without electronics. Just breathe. 
    • We’re in an age of social media where we’re always posting the highlights of our life. We can balance that out with social media detoxes where we become one with Mother Earth and just appreciate her for what she has to offer to us. Without taking pictures, just breathe and look around. Remember that it is a beautiful experience to be alive & feel grounded in what you stand for in our society.
  8. Explore your body & affirm what you see and feel. 
    • This can look a variety of different ways, depending on your comfort level. But I truly believe once you accept and explore the body you have been given, you begin to embody more self confidence and self love. 
    • I encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror and stare at the different parts of your body. You arms, your stomach, your butt, your face, literally everything. Touch those parts. Hug yourself. Dance to your heart’s delight. There’s bound to be something you’ll find that you may not like. And that’s ok. We’re taking baby steps, ok?
    • This might be uncomfortable for a lot of people, but self pleasure is actually a form of self love. I used to not be able to look at my body because I felt so much shame thinking or imagining anything sexual from it. But reclaiming the stories I’ve told myself growing up has helped me learn to love and accept my body for all that it is. And I’ve become much healthier to my standards, and that there… is love. 
  9. Recognize & understand what your triggers are and where they came from.
    • To an extent, everyone has triggers that bring about a certain feeling, emotion, memory or sensory stimulation. It varies per person, some more personal and traumatic than other triggers, but it doesn’t mean that you should “brush them off” if they come up. 
    • My point? Don’t ignore them. 
    • In a safe environment, ask yourself where it came from, acknowledge its creation, and affirm yourself that you didn’t ask for it. You never did, no matter who or what tells you otherwise.
    • Finally, ask yourself, “What do I need to move forward?” And don’t pressure yourself to have it all together all the time. There will be times that panic will incur. Have your support system within yourself and outside of yourself ready. 
  10. Forgive yourself for past mistakes you’ve made.  
    • A quote I like to reference often is “Forgive yourself each night, and recommit every morning.” – Unknown
    • We’re human, and we make mistakes. It doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of self forgiveness. Self forgiveness can pave the road toward self love, because ultimately, loving yourself means forgiving the things you did before that didn’t serve you or aren’t in alignment with who you are now. You are not defined by those mistakes, and you made decisions based off of what you knew at the time. You’re doing your best, and I see you. Now, go see yourself and say the same thing.

Wow, that was a lot. LOL. I could go on and on about self love, but I encourage you to go out and implement at least one of the 10 options I listed above into your everyday routine. I’m telling you that the results you’ll get from strengthening your self love muscle will not be visible to you immediately, but if you trust the process, it will show you the results (and your community & loved ones will see it too). 

Oh, and I’m actually in the process of creating a Routine & Ritual Building Mini Course with a module all about Self Love Ritual building! If you’re interested, get on the waitlist below & I’ll inform you once it’s out 🙂 

Be the first to know about Building Routines & Rituals for Success!

By giving me your email, you’ll be first to know ALL about my first Mini Course + Workbook, all about building systems of success which INCLUDES a module all about building self love rituals for yourself! Ahh, so exciting 💌

Thanks! Keep an eye on your inbox for updates.

Anyway, did you find this helpful? Comment below or share this with your network! And until the next blog post. 

Eril xo 

girl practicing and nurturing self love

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